The Luxury Boosh
by Amaryllis3121
Summary: A crossover between The Mighty Boosh and Noel Fielding's Luxury comedy. What happens when Howard and Vince, and possibly Naboo and Bollo in later chapters, meet Noel and the gang? Stay tuned for fun, humour, and adventures abound! (Temporay hiatus- I'm sorry I'm just a busy person!)
1. Chapter 1

_**Alright everyone? :). This is a crossover between Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy and The Mighty Boosh, because... Well, that would just blow my tiny mind, yeah?**_

_**Basically, this is a tester chapter, to see if people like it. If I get good feedback, I'll post the rest yeah? I mean, if I have just one reader, I'll post more. Because seriously, I love my readers, and if they want stuff, they can have it.**_

_**And it's in the 'Boosh category, 'cause Luxury Comedy doesn't have one (not last time I checked), and I reckon I won't get views if I create one. And I think people need to see this. Not because I wrote it, but because Luxury Comedy doesn't get nearly enough love. It's just mid-blowingly good, as a standalone project, particularly since Noel Fielding's always been part of a double-act, and he's a seriously funny man, even on his own. And people just don't appreciate that enough.**_

_**So here goes :L... Try and enjoy, and bear in mind that it's well difficult to write for Luxury Comedy. Seriously :P.**_

* * *

Noel leant back in his seat, admiring his work. The Lego sculpture was one of his best, the large, multi-coloured zebra taking up most of his desk. He had slaved over it all afternoon, and now he found himself craving a packet of Nik-Naks as a reward.

The thing was, it would be almost impossible to reach for bell that would summon his butler without knocking the sculpture to the floor.

"Smooth!" he yelled. When there was no reply, he tried again. "SMOOTH!"

After a full minute of waiting there was still no sign of the creature in question so, with a sigh, he lifted himself from his chair and headed toward the kitchen.

There was no sign of Smooth. He didn't even bump into Andy along the way. And then, when he finally got to the kitchen through the mass of corridors that inexplicably fit inside the hut, he found that there were, in fact, no Nik-Naks to be found.

So who had taken them?

There could only be two culprits. Dolly couldn't have done it- she wouldn't eat anything that wasn't 'low calorie'. Smooth couldn't digest savoury snack foods. There had been a particular incident in which Noel had force-fed him a Wotsit and his nose had swollen to twice its size and turned an alarming shade of green. Andy didn't like Nik-Naks, full stop.

That left Tony Reason or Fantasy Man.

Tony couldn't have done it, Noel decided. He would have left puddles on the floor and the cupboard handles would be damp.

So he stalked from the kitchen angrily, having chosen his target. Fantasy Man was in the clearing below the hut, he knew. He had been there all day, attempting to teach Arnold 5 the difference between chips and fries, with little success. When Noel's curiosity had gotten the better of him and he had tried to find out exactly why he thought it was necessary to teach a unicorn about potato products, the reply had bordered on comical.

"How else are we going to infiltrate McDonald's?" Fantasy Man had said exasperatedly, as though it was obvious.

"McDonald's? Why?" Noel had pressed, deciding not to point out that McDonald's only sold fries so it really didn't matter whether Arnold 5 was well-educated on the subject or not. In fact, his time would be better spent teaching him the difference between beef burgers and chicken burgers. And besides that, just what did the difference between chips and fries have to do with the infiltration of the restaurant? Was he going to send the unicorn in to work the counter or something? In fact, that probably was his plan. To be fair, if that was the case, it was one of his best.

Noel was so caught up silently dissecting Fantasy Man's words that he almost missed the answer to his second question.

"Where else would the Spangly Nugget of True Taste be hidden?"

"The what?"

"The Spangly Nugget of True Taste," Fantasy Man repeated impatiently. "It is the most delectable morsel of all the chicken family. Now leave us be. There's work to be done."

Noel had complied, barely any the wiser, and watched from a distance as Fantasy Man continued his fruitless attempts at educating his 'trusty steed'. Eventually, he had lost interest and called Smooth to nip to the shop and buy him a bucket of Lego.

Presently, he shook his head to himself as he made his way to his desk. He reached beneath it, found his megaphone, and went to edge of the open room, kneeling down and leaning over the side.

"Oi!" he yelled through the megaphone, making Fantasy Man jump so hard his moustache fell crooked. "Fantasy Man! Where are my Nik-Naks?"

"Nik-Naks?" Fantasy Man called back, a hint of nervousness in his tone. "What are these Nik-Naks you speak of?"

"Don't think you can play dumb!" Noel argued. "I've seen you, eyeing them up when you thought nobody was looking. Now where are they?"

But Fantasy Man was spared having to give an answer right away as Noel's wrist-phone started ringing loudly. He frowned at it, and then glanced back down at the clearing.

"I'm not finished with you," he warned. Then he set down the megaphone and answered the call.

It was Secret Peter, of course.

"Alright, Noel?"

"Yes, Peter?"

Noel's tone held more than a hint of weariness. He had been called on at least six separate occasions already that day, each for a totally mundane or completely mental thing, and to be frank, he was getting a bit sick of it now.

"Yeah, Noel, I just thought I should warn you, I'm opening your hut to the general public. Like a sort of resort, but up a tree."

"What?" Noel cried. "Are you serious?"

"You can be the manager, yeah? I'll cut you in on the profit."

"Well what if I say no?"

"I'll kick you out."

"Oh, thanks. I'm a good tenant, you know."

"Relax. It's just this once. Some friends of my mate, Bob Fossil. So be nice to them, or I'll send Al Grater round to sort you out, yeah?"

This was said perfectly conversationally, and Noel didn't believe for one second that he was seriously threatening to set Al (half-alligator, half-cheese grater) on him. But he did believe that he might chuck him out, and he really did like the hut, even if he was surrounded by loons.

"Fine. Just this once. But you could've asked me first."

"I'll tell you in advance next time, yeah?"

"Next time? What do you mean next time?"

But Peter had already gone.

With a sigh, Noel snapped his watch-phone shut and scooped up the megaphone, fully intending to readdress the Nik-Naks issue. But Fantasy Man was deep in conversation with a stranger that might have been a man or a woman- it was hard to tell from his vantage point- while another man gazed up at the hut in amazement.

The 'general public' had arrived.

* * *

_**Right, well that's that then xD. So if there's any characters you'd like me to specifically include in the future, or anything you want to happen, I can try and fit it in. Since this really won't have much plot, to be fair. I just wanted the two shows to meet. Particularly with Vince and Noel, because they're both kind of based off of Noel Fielding himself (or Vince was originally and then he kind of escalated in the next series, I think), and as a result, they're sort of similar. So I reckon their interaction'll be *creepy foreign voice* preeety eeenteresting.**_

_**So yeah, drop me a review and let me know what you think, or if you've got any ideas you want me to put in, and I'll see what I can do, eh?**_

_**Ta ta for now ;).**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**So, I thought I'd update since I was up anyways. so here it is :D.**_

* * *

Vince frowned at the man in front of him, finding himself wishing he hadn't started the conversation. He was hoping that Howard might be able to make sense of it, but when he turned to look for him, the older man was pacing about the clearing, and looking up at the over-sized hut balancing precariously in a tree.

He had to admit, mental as the man might be, he liked his hood. It reminded him of the hood of his mirror-ball suit- the one he had to cut off because he simply couldn't stand to have his hair compressed for long periods of time, and it just didn't look right with the hood just dangling there.

"I'm sorry- _why _do you want to infiltrate McDonald's?" he asked, forcing himself back to the matter in hand. Although he couldn't help but mentally admire his gold trousers. In fact, he was sure he _had_ a pair of those somewhere. And those boots looked pretty familiar.

Wow. He was crazy, but the man had taste.

He sighed impatiently, jerking Vince back to the conversation yet again. "To search for the Spangly Nugget of True Taste."

"What's that?" Vince asked, actually quite intrigued.

"It is the most delectable morsel of all the chicken family!" the man repeated grandly, and Vince got the distinct impression that it was well-rehearsed. Maybe he wasn't mental. Maybe he just liked attention. Or maybe he was rehearsing for an acting role. A couple of his mates were method actors, and they seemed to be a different person every few weeks. It was kind of creepy.

"Why don't you just buy a Happy Meal?" Vince suggested innocently. The man just stared, looking fairly annoyed by his question. Luckily, Howard called him away. "Got to go, mate. Good luck with your sparkly nuggets, yeah?"

"It is not sparkly!" the man yelled after him indignantly as Vince retreated towards his jazzy friend. "The nugget is spangly! The _Spangly_ Nugget of True Taste!"

Vince didn't reply, joining Howard at the base of the tree.

"Do you think this is where we're meant to be staying?" he asked.

"Hard to tell," Howard replied. "How do we get up there?"

Vince cast about, and then he had an idea, looking up at the large manta-ray in the tank below the hut. He jogged backward a few paces, and waved his arms at the sea creature.

"Hello? Excuse me?" he called. The manta-ray looked down at him.

"Yes? Can I help?"

"Yeah, is this 'Noel's hut'?" He made quotation marks with his fingers as he spoke.

"Yes, that's right."

"Alright, cheers."

Vince hesitated.

"Uh... is there a door or something?"

All of a sudden, a loud voice filled the clearing.

"Use the ladder!"

Vince looked about, searching for the source of the sound. Then he spotted the ladder and followed it upward. For the first time, he actually looked inside the hut and saw a man crouched at the edge.

"Thanks, mate!" Vince called up to him. Then he joined Howard again. "Well go on then- you heard him."

"Are you sure? It doesn't look that safe..."

"Just get your jazzy arse up there," Vince moaned, giving his friend a push.

"Alright, don't touch me! I'm going."

Vince rolled his eyes and followed Howard to the base of the ladder. The older man mounted it hesitantly and began to climb. Halfway up, he glanced down and froze. Vince stopped beneath him, looking up to see what was wrong.

"Get moving then," he prompted.

"We're a bit high up..."

"Oh for God's sake. I thought you were a 'man of action'?" When there was no reply, Vince sighed. "The quicker you climb, the quicker we'll get up there, yeah?"

Howard nodded his agreement and continued, although much slower. As Vince followed suit, he found himself wondering, for what must have been the ten-billionth time in the last year alone, why on Earth he had chosen Howard, out of everyone else in the world, to be his best mate.

Finally, they reached the hut. The first thing Howard did was step right away from the edge. But Vince was too caught up in admiring the décor to worry about falling.

"Nice place you've got here," he complimented to the man who was now sat behind a large white desk- and the Lego zebra upon it. "You see, Howard? If you'd just let me redesign the flat..."

"I let you choose the sofa, didn't I? And besides, Naboo would never let you."

"Naboo's a shaman- they don't know what style is. I bet he'd be well happy to let me redecorate."

"I doubt it."

"Uh... Hello?" came a voice from behind the desk. Vince could kind of see the top of the man's head from over the sculpture, just enough to note the brilliant hat he was wearing.

"Sorry," Howard apologised. "Good morning. I'm Howard Moon and this is Vince Noir."

"Call me Vince, yeah? I like your hat. A winged helmet- genius!"

"I know right?" the man agreed enthusiastically. "I thought 'how do I make a statement?', and then it hit me- Viking chic! I'm Noel, by the way."

Vince found himself already liking this Noel. He had taste, at least, and he knew what he was talking about.

That was until Noel stood and held out his hand over the top of the zebra. The two men's eyes locked, and Howard had to grab the back of Vince's shirt to stop him from flying over the desk and socking him.

"Easy, Vince!"

"He's stolen my face!"

To Vince, this was true. Underneath the his face paint, Noel was identical, right down to the blue eyes peering out from the gold design around them.

It was easy to break Howard's grip, since his anger was so great, and he lurched forward, knocking the Lego statue off balance. Noel's hands flew out to steady it just as Howard managed to yank Vince back, but he took the sculpture with him, grabbing at it in an attempt to keep from careening backward.

It dropped to the floor and smashed into pieces as Vince collided into Howard, almost sending them both tumbling from the hut.

"That took me ages!" Noel cried angrily, leaning over the desk and surveying the mess.

"What a shame," Vince shot back, turning away and folding his arms. "Should've thought about that before you _stole my face_."

"It's not my fault, is it?" Noel moaned. "I was born like this!"

"Oh really?"

"I'm sorry about this, Mr...?" Howard paused, waiting for Noel to clarify his surname.

"It's just Noel," he sighed.

"Well I apologise, Noel. Maybe we should just... go to our room, yeah?"

"Yeah," Noel agreed. "Take a right down the hall, the first left, and the guest rooms are the third and fourth doors on the right."

Howard nodded to Noel and took Vince's arm, dragging him from the room. Vince pulled away from Howard's grip, still fuming.

"I can walk on my own, you know."

The older man didn't bother to answer, just tutting as Vince trailed behind him. As they left, Vince glanced back to see the man who could be his twin taking a seat once more and burying his head in his hands.

Good. Let him be upset.

The face-stealing bastard.

* * *

_**So, a massive CHEERS to BatsNotDogs for reviewing :D.**_

_**There will be Roy Circles in... chapter four, I think, 'cause that's where I'm at with writing :D. Just for you ;).**_

_**Remember- review, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please**__**? :D. Just lemme know if you want any characters specifically or anything, yeah? Because I'll definitely put them in. And there will be Naboo and Bollo! I have decided ;).**_

_**Until next time! :D.**_


	3. Chapter 3

**It's me! I'm not dead, I'm back online, I'm now seventeen, I'm officially a college student, I've fallen in love with Jack Whitehall, I feel terrible about neglecting you all, I haven't watched any 'Boosh for over a fortnight and I'm READY TO WRITE!**

**I can't apologise enough. Basically, my laptop crashed two days after I finished Letting Go and it's taken me until now to convince my dad to get it fixed... AGAIN. Right now I'm borrowing his, but mine should be back tomorrow, so hopefully, this will mark my indefinite return. But no promises, because I have all the luck of a shattered mirror :).**

**So all I can say is I hope I haven't lost any old readers, and a hearty welcome to any newbies :). Please enjoy :).**

* * *

Noel stared out, over his desk and beyond the hut, into the clearing. Fantasy Man had been driven away by Jeremy Beautiful-Chest vaulting the fence of his paddock and charging like a bull. That had provided a few moments of entertainment, but Noel was bored again now. He supposed he could clean up the Lego mess that surrounded the desk, but that seemed like too much work. Where was Smooth when you needed him?

Actually, where _was_ Smooth? It would be dinner time soon, and Noel knew he'd better not cook it, just in case. The last time he had attempted it, the sausages had crawled out of the pan and hidden under the floorboards. They'd searched for a week after, but seen not hide nor hare of them. They were probably still in the tree-house somewhere.

At that moment, the butler waltzed through the door as though he knew what Noel was thinking, carrying a fishing rod and a carton of orange juice. Noel glared at him.

"Where have you been?" he demanded.

"Tesco," Smooth explained.

"What took you so long?"

"Well, I was walking through Shoelace Canyon when I saw this hedgehog..."

Noel rolled his eyes. "I told you to go the long way! This always happens! Oh, never mind. Have you heard the news?"

"No."

"We've got guests. Bob Fossil's mates."

"Oh, no way! How come?"

"Secret Peter sent them."

"Are they as mental as Fossil?"

Noel paused as they both remembered their brief encounter with the zoo-keeper-slash-club-owner. He had entered the room, licked Smooth's ear, attempted to give Noel a belly-rub then danced his way over the edge of the hut whilst singing a song about roast beef. Unfortunately, he was unharmed and simply got up and galloped- yes, _galloped_- away into the jungle. Later, Noel heard Raymond Boombox had picked him up on the outskirts of Shrewsbury. After a short stay in the cells, he apparently charmed the New York cop and they had spent a night together that neither could speak of for 'legal reasons'. No, it was safe to say that nobody wanted to see his face again for a very long time.

"Well, one's alright. I think he must be a geography teacher. The other one's a complete loony though! He tried to hit me for stealing his face!"

"As if! You were born with that face!"

"That's what I said! And he broke my zebra," Noel added, a childish infliction to his tone as he gestured at the mess of Lego bricks.

"Right, I'd better get tea on then," Smooth said decisively.

"You do that."

Noel watched Smooth go, then glanced around.

"And get all this Lego cleaned up, will you?" he shouted after him. In response, Smooth gave him the finger.

Maybe he should look into hiring a new butler.

* * *

Vince sat on the bed, arms folded, scowling like a child. Howard flitted about him distractingly, opening cupboards and drawers. The younger man was running out of sulk- he simply didn't have the concentration to keep it up. When Howard opened the wardrobe and stuck his entire torso inside, he could hold his tongue no longer.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm looking," came Howard's muffled reply.

"Looking for what? The Boogey Man?"

Vince grinned at his own joke as Howard emerged from the wardrobe to glare at him.

"_No_, I'm looking to see where we can put our stuff when Naboo brings the bags."

"Well go and look in your own cupboards!"

Howard gave a long-suffering sigh.

"Vince, how many guest rooms did Noel say there were?"

"Two."

"And how many of us will there be when Naboo and Bollo arrive?"

"Four."

"So...?"

"So, what?" Vince thought for a moment, finally realising what Howard was getting at. Then he thought of something to add to cover up for his stupidity. "Who says I'm sharing with you?"

Howard looked mildly put out. "We always share."

"Well, what if I want to share with Naboo for a change?"

Now, Howard looked downright alarmed. "That leaves me with Bollo." There was a definite note of panic in his voice. "He won't want to share with me!"

Vince grinned. "Relax," he said, putting Howard out of his misery. "I'm kidding!"

"I know," Howard grumbled embarrassedly, turning away to resume his search (and hide his relieved expression, Vince thought). Vince glanced around the room himself, spotting a problem.

"Uh, Howard?"

"Hmm?"

"There's only one bed."

The older man looked over his shoulder from the chest of drawers he was inspecting.

"We'll have to take turns sleeping on the floor," he said practically.

"Nah, forget that!" Vince cried. "My pyjamas'll wrinkle." He thought a moment. "We'll just do top and tails, yeah?"

Howard didn't look too pleased at this. "Let's sort it out tonight, okay Little Man?"

"Why can't we just-"

Vince was cut off by Howard closing the drawer he was inspecting with a most unmanly shriek.

"What?"

Howard turned to Vince with a comical expression of shock. "There's... there's a chocolate finger..."

Vince laughed. "Ooh, terrifying!"

"A _talking_ chocolate finger!"

"No way! Let me see!"

Vince sprung from the bed and brushed past his friend, yanking the drawer open. Sure enough, there sat a chocolate finger, barking orders into dark corners.

"Hello? What's the meaning of this?" it queried in loud, brash tones, staring up at Vince.

"Who are you?" Vince asked, having seen too many strange things to be surprised by this. A pale Howard was taking a different approach, however, leaning over Vince's shoulder, stunned beyond speech.

"Roy Circles, if you must know."

"How come you're in here?"

"I was taking the lads on a school trip before you two came barging in!"

"What lads?" Vince began peering into the depths of the drawer.

"Do you mind?" Roy Circles boomed. "I will not have you ogling at my class, you great big pervert!"

"Oi!" Vince protested, but Howard seemed to regain his sense and place a placating hand on Vince's shoulder, interrupting.

"So sorry, Mr. Circles. We'll just leave you to it."

"That's right, as you were- discussing sharing a bed like a couple of ladies!"

Roy Circles began to laugh a wheezy, creepy laugh as Howard leaned over and pushed the drawer shut.

"Let's not open that again," he said decisively.

Vince nodded his agreement.

"Yeah! Chocolate twerp! I'm not a lady!"

* * *

**Okay, so there it is. Sorry if it's a little off, it's been a while since I've seen the 'Boosh OR LuxCom.**

**So, I'd like to reply to people who have reviewed, but there was an unexpected surge of them after chapter two (okay, seven or so, which is a lot to me!) so I'd like to just say an absolutely massive thank you so much to all of you- I didn't expect this story to be quite so popular.**

**From the next chapter onwards, I'll see who reviews, then start afresh from there because I fear that I may have lost some reviewers because I took so bleeding long to update.**

**I'm going to try and get the sequel to Letting Go up and running tonight, but it depends how long it takes me to type up the chapter. I have a lot of the story written in notebooks, but it's a case of finding them and combatting my laziness :D.**

**So goodnight and goodbye for now, and remember that if I do once again vanish, I'll definitely return eventually!**


	4. Chapter 4

**It's me again! So this is my update, as promised to those who read Path to Recovery.**

**I can't believe I'm getting so many reviews! Particularly as I left it for so long! I can't reply to them right now, because my internet connection's a bit wobbly, to say the least, but I'll respond in the next chapter, promise :). Just know that I am incredibly grateful :D.**

**So this one is all 'Boosh, because at this point in the story, I'm telling four points of view- Vince, Howard, Noel and Naboo. I'd done that scene in the bedroom in the last chapter, along with Noel's point of view, which meant I still had to do Naboo's. Then I realised that I needed to establish a separate PoV for Howard, for later on, and so I ended up with a chapter without ANY LuxCom in it. So sorry, but it's a chapter that needed to be done.**

**But, on a lighter note... TONY HARRISON AND SABOO! So, you know, it's sort of win-lose xD.**

* * *

When Howard had finished 'looking', he took off his coat, hung up his hat, combed his moustache and then crossed to the door, turning to face Vince with his arms folded. The younger man had taken a position sprawled out on the bed with the latest edition of _Top2Toe_.

Howard cleared his throat, waiting to be noticed. After a good few minutes, Vince looked up.

"Hmm? Oh, I know. Brilliant, isn't it?"

"What are you on about?"

"My hair. You can't help being drawn to it. New conditioner- it's tops."

"I'm not interested in your _hair_, Vince."

Vince snorted. "'Course you are! You can't help it! That's theallure at work! There's no escaping the allure of my hair."

"'_The allure of your hair_'?" Howard repeated in disbelief. "Howard Moon isn't interested in hair, no sir!"

"So your ideal woman is bald?"

Howard paused, deciding to change the subject.

"Of course not, Vince," he snapped. "Are you just going to lie there all day?"

"I'm comfy."

"We're on holiday."

"So? You're supposed to relax on holiday."

"All you do at home is sit around. Why don't you get up and do something for a change, hmm?"

Vince stared blankly.

After a short silence, he spoke.

"Why have you taken your hat off?" he asked.

Howard resisted the urge to sigh, scream, or maybe jam his moustache comb up Vince's nose.

"It's rude to wear a hat in someone else's home, Vince."

"Is it?" Vince brightened and sprung up, producing a cowboy hat from thin air and fitting it on, gazing adoringly at his reflection in the mirror on the wall.

"Where did you get that?" Howard asked.

"Flat-pack-hats," he grinned. "Genius idea! I'm going to make a fortune!"

"Well take it off!"

"Oh come on, Noel's going to be well pissed off- that'll show him!"

"I don't think he'll be that worried."

Vince's face fell. "How come you took yours off then?"

"Because it's nice to make an effort, even if it isn't appreciated."

"Whatever," the younger man scoffed. "You are _such_ an arse-kisser."

"It's not sucking up, Vince," Howard sighed, deliberately changing the phrasing so he could avoid swearing. "It's called having manners."

"Yeah, right. Next you'll be feeding him Jammie Dodgers from your hand and serenading him with Adele."

Then, without waiting for an answer, he brushed past Howard and opened the door.

"Coming?"

* * *

Naboo had just finished packing the last bag when there was a knock from downstairs. Rolling his eyes, he manoeuvred around the luggage in the middle of the front room and headed down the stairs. When he opened the front door, he was not impressed with what he found.

There stood Saboo, holding a bright yellow Tony Harrison at arm's length. A comical purple spot adorned the end of Tony's nose.

"What are you dicks doing here?" Naboo demanded.

"This idiot thought it would be a good idea to drink a whole vial of Shaman Flu," Saboo said disgustedly.

"It's not my fault!" Tony wheezed in a hoarse (hoarser than usual) voice. "I thought it was a glass of Sambuca!"

"I thought all the virus samples were destroyed?" Naboo asked.

"All but one, which we stored in the liquor cabinet, clearly labelled 'drink and die'," Saboo explained.

"I can't help it if nobody taught me to read!"

"Nothing's ever your fault, is it, Tony?"

"No! Everyone else is stupid- there's nothing I can do about it!"

"Fine then. I'll put you in a bin round the back, should I? Let's see how you handle that!"

"Shut up a minute!" Naboo interrupted. "Why have you come to me?"

"You're the only one who knows how to brew the antidote," Saboo sad grudgingly. "And can you do it quickly? I must have caught something from this twat by now."

As if on cue, Ton sneezed some orange goo onto Saboo's sleeve. Saboo wrinkled his nose.

"I can't do it," Naboo said, holding back a laugh when Tony sneezed again. The look on Saboo's face was priceless. "I'm going away for a bit."

"Do it before you go."

"It takes a week."

Saboo glared.

"Look, that isn't my problem. Dennis said Tony must be cured and no one else knows how to do it."

"Why can't we just let him die?" Naboo asked, prodding Tony idly on the forehead and receiving an indignant 'oi!' in the process.

"Apparently, he's a valued member of the team."

"Why? What does he even do?"

"Oi!" Tony said again, louder. "I've been shaman of the month for twelve months running. That makes me shaman of the year!"

Both Naboo and Saboo ignored him.

"What am I supposed to do? He'll probably be dead by the time I get back."

Saboo shrugged.

"We'll have to come with you," he said, a hint of malicious delight in his tone. Anything to ruin Naboo's holiday. "You can brew the potion while we're there."

"Oh, for God's sake," Naboo moaned.

"Sorry, Sweetheart," Saboo said callously, with a wicked grin on his face. "Them's the rules!"

Naboo eyed him for a moment, then sighed.

"You're a prick," he mumbled, opening the door and allowing them entry.

It was going to be a long holiday.

* * *

**I really hope you enjoyed, and before I go, I have a question:**

**Would you like an IT Crowd fic? Yes or no? :D.**

**Okay, I'd best shut up so I can get this posted before the internet dies on me again.**

**Please, please, review! :D.**


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